Pregnancy Update

Gage Michael 37 week profile

Little Mouth, Nose and Hand

Its definately getting close to my little man's arrival. As of Monday, I was officially full term at 37 weeks. This was an exciting milestone, becauase we no longer have to worry about preterm labor. I have been having false labor, or braxton hicks contractions, very regularly since 33 weeks. Needless to say, it has been a quite stressful and uncomfortable month. Last Weds, at my 36 week appointment, the doctor had a new concern. I was measuring large about 40 weeks pregnant instead of 36 weeks. The doctor decided to have a sonogram completed to measure the size of the baby and determine if induction might be an option, to avoid having a huge baby. So, our sono appointment was scheduled for yesterday at 12:00 and a doctors appointment to follow at 2:20 pm. The last week of waiting for the sono appointment was awful. I went from thinking I was going to have an early baby due to preterm labor, to thinking I was going to have to suffer through another induction before my body was ready. I started having flashbacks to my induction experience with Ella. Nights and days spent in the hospital with uncomfortable cervical ripeners and then pitocin to do the final trick. I couldn't imagine how I would juggle that with having Ella Bella to take care of at home. I just kept thinking, I want to do this on my own. I even dreamt that I cussed out my doctor. I kept trying to tell myself all that matters is a healthy baby, all that matters is a healthy baby, all that matter is a healthy baby. I told my mom, Kelli and Ryan that I knew it was in God's hands. Yesterday morning when I woke up, I prayed and prayed. I asked God to calm me down. I handed it to Him and let Him know I understood that He already had a plan and that His plan was perfect. I asked God to help me to trust in that plan. My anxiety vanished, until the sono...

The sonogram showed a wonderfully healthy baby. Measuring at about 38 and a half weeks, and approximately 8 lbs. It was so amazing to see him. In one of the shots we could see his eyes wide open. At one time you could count all 5 fingers on one hand. It was amazing. But as soon as the sono was over my mind went right back to the induction. If Gage was already 8 lbs, the doctor would definately want to induce. Ryan tried to calm me down for the next 2 hours while we passed the time prior to our doctor's appointment. He kept telling me it would all be okay. I kept telling myself too, we have a healthy baby in there, that is all that matters. But there in my head was this voice saying, you have been pregnant for 8 months and you want it the way you want it. I think a woman's attachment to having birth the way we expect it is natural. I imagine that all of my friends and family who have ever experienced pregnancy had some if not a lot of expectations about the birth of their child. Some of us want a natural childbirth, or we want an epidural, or we want a water birth. The doctors and the childbirth classes and the tv shows all tell us to understand that every labor and birth is unique and to be flexible with our plans. But deep down in our hearts we think, I've had to endure this pregnancy, I should get it the way I want it. So I continued to whine in my head until the doctor's appointment, like a 3 yr old, not a 30 year old. At 30, I should definately have an understanding that life does not work that way. I can't get what I want by whining.

At 2:20, the doctor came into the room (well it was more like 2:40 because they always make you wait) and took a look at the sono report. He said just like he thought the baby was measuring ahead of schedule. He also let us know that I did have an amniotic fluid level on the higher side of normal. He reassured us about the fluids, that it wasn't a cause for concern, but that it could cause my uterus to measure large as well. We discussed the induction, and that it would be completed on June 3rd. He let us know that if the baby was more than 9 lbs that there was a possibility that I wouldn't be able to have a regular delivery and that a c section may be necessary. He also let us know that he would make me try to have a regular delivery before he even considered a c section. I think some women would want a c section with the fear of a 9 lb baby, but I would still opt for the regular delivery. I just want the satisfaction of knowing I could do it. Anyways, after the lengthy discussions he checked my cervix. I knew he was going to say there had been know changes. I knew he was going to say you're not dilating and your still thick and hard. He didn't. He said, Good news. You are 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I think I could've cried. I said, you just made me so happy. I told him its nice to know that with all the pain and the contractions its good to know I'm not crazy, to know my body can do something.

I left the doctors office smiling. I called my mom and said "Mom, I can dilate on my own". What a landmark moment, haha. I'm satisfied now. My birth can be what it will be. If I have to be induced, there will be no cervical ripeners, because my cervix is already ripening. If I have a c section, I will know that my body was responding to all this action over the last month. And, I know that no matter what, I will have my beautiful, healthy baby boy in my hands in no more than 2 weeks from today!!!

Look how beautiful he is.